Good news!

Well, so much for checking in tomorrow.  My life has turned into a never-ending merry-go-round of craziness-- at least it feels that way at the moment.  I'm hoping it settles down soon (or I get used to my new normal).

Anyway, positive encouragement came my way in spades this weekend.  I had more than one person out of the blue ask if I'm losing weight and comment that I'm really looking fit!  Honestly, I think nothing boosts me more than sincere compliments from other people (especially when they don't know I'm trying to lose weight-- somehow it makes the compliments more real).  Second, my weigh in this weekend came in at 145.8.  Wow!  Finally something to show for my hard work!  Judging by the past I will probably see it up higher again...but still, this is very encouraging.

Continuing on with the normal.  I'm up to 14 miles on my long Saturday runs, preparing for the marathon.  I think it's finally time for me to look into marathon nutrition.  Just eating normal and enjoying the big calorie burning day has been good enough so far, but I'm really running out of steam towards the end of those runs.  I'll need to find a good solution that doesn't stop my weight loss cold.  (I don't think I want to try carbo loading-- but I need to do some research first.)

Don't give up!  We only fail if we quit~

Discouraged

OK, a little late posting this week's weigh in--

147.6.

I can live with that.  Unfortunately, last night I let stress get to me and after doing so good all day turned to mindlessly snacking while I was reading.  I am so frustrated with myself!  Worse, this morning, I've eaten terribly-- too much sugar, not enough protein-- so my body is craving more, more junk.  And I'm so tired, I haven't gotten enough rest of the last few days, so  I think I'm craving junk in a desperate bid for quick energy.

None of this will help me in the long run.  How do I get back on track today?  How do I let go of past mistakes and move forward?  Even harder, how do I deal with wanting to eat when I'm tired (and actually getting the rest that I need is not an option yet?)

I don't know.

I have to keep going.  But it feels so hard this morning.  So tired.  So blue.  Where has my determination gone?

I'll check in again tomorrow.  There has to be a way through this.

Heidi's Weigh-In #8

So my weigh-in on Sunday was 149.0 lbs.  Seriously????  I think my body conspires when it's time for me to actually record the weight.  During the week I saw my weight get as low as 146.2.  So the 149 was a bit (OK, more than a bit) disappointing.

Not giving up yet.  I only fail when I quit.

Umm, Checking In, Kinda

No posts for two weeks!

In my defense, my life has been crazy around here.  However, I'm fairly proud of the fact that I have still (mostly) kept my eating in line despite the insanity.  Also, my exercise has been consistent, hooray for that!  With all my hard work, my official weigh in last Sunday was at 148.0 lbs.  Which means I've lost all the weight I put on during vacation.

*doing a little happy dance*

I know, some people might look at me askance for celebrating re-losing weight I had already lost the month before, but let's face it, in the reality of long-term healthy weight maintenance, vacation is going to throw you off track.   Maybe once or twice you've probably gone on vacation and still managed to hold fast to your ultra-low-carb lifestyle or whatever strict diet is currently in vogue, but most of us like to enjoy ourselves on vacation-- and in my case, that means enjoying the meals out that I'm eating.  It also means snacking like crazy while trying to stay awake on a long car drive.  So I'm not going to get down on myself and focus on the fact that if I hadn't gained any vacation weight I would be that much farther ahead.  Instead, I'm going to focus on the fact that I enjoyed my vacation, and then got back into my healthy eating groove when I got home!  (That's the tricky part.)

Yikes!!!

Vacation is HARD when it comes to weight loss.  I know that up front, and I try to resign myself to the fact that I will not make any progress during a trip.  Hoping the lessen any weight gain I still stick to an exercise regime and try to be somewhat conscious of my food choices.

This time I was particularly pleased with myself because I even managed to get in a full 13 mile run Saturday morning, including hills (a new experience for a girl who lives in desert flat land).  But I can't say I ate sensibly.  Not exactly.

Still, I couldn't help the shock when I stepped on the scale back home and found I'd gained nearly 7 pounds!

All that work I've done over the last two months, completely down the tube.  But there is an important weight loss lesson here too.  I could throw in the towel, beat myself up for "failing," and simply eat my way back up the scale.  Or I can pick myself up off the ground, remind myself that I only fail if I give up, and wade back into the fray again.

I choose option #2.  It's not over yet!

Heidi's Weigh-In #7

Well, I'm continuing on the minor up-and-down of the scale that has been my life for months now.  Today's weigh-in came to 149.0.  (-0.4 from last week).

Seriously, if I were doing this ranging up and down five pounds eternal and I were at my ideal weight, it would be fantastic!

But being stuck here doesn't feel so much like it.

I'm leaving on vacation this week, hopefully I can make wise choices while still having an enjoyable time and not obsessing over every bite that goes into my mouth.  Wish me luck!

Heidi's Weigh-in #6

Well, my weigh-in this week was up again...149.4 (which is +1.4 lbs from last week).  It's so baffling.  My weight dropped down to 147 during the week but of course didn't stay there.  I need to go look up my old weight charts from back the last time I lost so much weight.  Was it always like this?  Or am I just stuck in my forever plateau?

There is one major difference between the last time I lost all this weight and now.  I worried about it less then.  I was so content with how I looked by this particular weight and so patient about just letting things happen when they happened.  There was no drama about having gained a pound back over a week, nor any angst about how I looked.  I felt so confident because at that point all I focused on was how much better I felt for the first time in years.

I don't have that euphoric feeling anymore.  It makes this so much harder.  I get discouraged so easily, and I just don't see myself as successful (like I did before).  Silly.  I'll keep on plugging along though.

Heidi's Weigh-In #5

So I decided to change my official weigh-in day to Sunday morning.  I think it's silly, but there is always a huge difference between my weight on Saturday and my weight on Sunday, and I'm going to quit depressing myself.  (For example, yesterday morning I weighed in at 150.4-- after seeing lower numbers all week!-- and this morning was quite different.)

Anyway, today I weighed in at 148.0.   I don't know if I'll stay here, but at least half the days this week were in the 148 range so maybe so.  Such a small difference in numbers but such a huge impact on my mood!

I'm not celebrating anything yet.  But when I break this plateau barrier and reach 145, I'm going to throw myself a party or something!

Baby Blues

I have been a bad blogger. I think that when a person is excited about losing weight or achieving weight loss goals it is a lot easier to blog. Excitement over something makes the words pour out! I am not sure what is going on with me these days, I just feel a little blue. I don't know if I go so far as to say I am depressed (although that is probably more accurate) so I prefer to label it as 7 months after having a baby I am still feel a little post-pardum blue-ness. Don't get me wrong, I haven't given up on losing weight, I am just in a state of appatheticness about it (is that a word?).

Anyhoo. I am still plugging along. I finally lost weight this week. I was just ready to give myself an extra cheat day (in honor of fathers day - that's a holiday, right?) because I haven't been losing much weight and I didn't see the point in being so strict with myself. But then I stepped on the scale and saw that I had lost 3 lbs, so it kicked me in the butt to keep doing what I am doing, Slow and steady is tough though...I struggle with whether I can keep going or what the point is.

I think Fridays should be my official weigh in day because it is my slow work day and I am more likely to blog :). So this morning I weighed in at 195.6. I am 5 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight (I had slowly let 40lbs creep back up on me, it took 4 years to gain those 40lbs but come back they did).

As for exercise I am struggling with the fact that I seem to hate running, so instead of pushing myself to run a lot, I went back to the Ragnar training schedule for beginners. I need to think of myself as a beginner again. I don't plan on running a Ragnar anytime soon but it really starts out slow and works you up to a long distance. This is the training plan that I used with lots of success in 2010, so hopefully it works out again this time.

Green Goodness

I haven't checked in all week!

I've been doing great about sticking to my allotted calories.  I've even managed to get all my water in this week (pretty much).  The veggies goal has been harder.  I just don't like them.  There are a few I like, and I enjoy a good salad piled high from a good salad bar, but that's not practical for at home veggie cramming.  When I'm hungry for a snack I just don't reach for the cherry tomatoes or a cucumber, you know what I mean?  Sauteed zucchini takes effort.  I love jicama, but chopping a jicama into edible pieces is something that is way too easy to put off.  So I eat a lot of baby carrots, but there's only so many of those I can eat in a day before my digestive system is quite messed up, if you catch my drift.

A good green smoothie helps get at least one veggie serving in, and I've found one that I can make pretty easily at home.  The trouble is finding the right balance between taste and a reasonable amount of calories.  The better tasting the green smoothie, the more likely that it's sky high in calories (sugar-- including any kind of fruit-- tends to do that).  After experimenting a bit, here's the recipe I use the most:

Heidi's Green Smoothie

1 frozen banana
1 6 oz. container Greek yogurt (I like to use strawberry or peach or raspberry)
1/2 c. frozen mixed fruit (I use a store brand mix that includes strawberries, peaches & mangoes)
8 oz. unsweetened soy milk
1 1/2 c. raw baby spinach

Blend them all together and add a little water to get the desired consistency (if you don't want it like a thick shake).  Really blend it well because chunks of frozen fruit and spinach that aren't pureed are kinda hard to choke down.


Every so often my husband will want some so I'll double the amount of frozen mixed fruit, soy milk, and spinach.  Comes out well that way too.  Right now I also toss in a few leaves of butter lettuce from my friend's garden (but don't do too much of this or your smoothie will be bitter!)

Tomorrow I'm planning on my 2nd 12 mile run.  I'm dreading it already, but I'm not giving up!  That's the lesson I needed to learn last week.  Never give up!  (With my diet changes and my running).  I can do this!

A Lesson

So I got a very unpleasant shock when I stepped on the scale Saturday morning for my official weigh-in.  My weight was something like 151.4.  I was so upset I didn't even really note the weight well enough to get it entered into my food diary, so I can't say for sure.  That's 3 lbs. up from my weigh in the week before!

I wanted to cry.

I really, really wanted to cry.

Now, I know from long experience that weigh fluctuates, and a couple of pounds there one day may be gone the next.  Who knows, perhaps I was extra bloated that morning.  And sure enough, this morning on the scale I was down to 149.2.  But really, this up and down between about 147 & 152 pounds has been the norm for the last year.  That's what I want to change.  But it's not changing, and that's what makes me want to cry.  Especially since I had a really good week, with drinking my water, exercising, keeping to my food diary, and even eating more veggies.

I know there's a lesson here, I just don't know what it is.

Do I need to give up on my gradual food diary approach and go back to a much more restrictive diet?

Do I need to go to the doctor and see if I have something hormonal going on?

Do I need to take a leap and try one of the gazillion various supplements that my friends are promoting for weight loss?

Do I need to just be patient and not let the number on the scale ruin my day?

My husband votes for the last option.  He says that he can see changes in me, that I'm toned and firmer, never mind what the scale says.  But I can't see them, not really.  Still, how can I be running 12 miles (like I did yesterday) and not see some changes?  Even if it's just massive calf muscles?

This weight loss stuff is hard.  It's hard mentally.  But I'm not giving up.  I only fail if I give up.

Hotness Helps

Well, my Sunday was a partial success-- I didn't overeat, so that was a plus.  But yet again, I didn't manage to get enough water!  Part of my problem was that I was just NOT feeling well.  But again, I think I need to be better at getting the water down, even when I don't feel great.  Especially when it's a heat advisory day.

Today has gone fine.  I've even already met my water goal, so that's a success.  I downed the first half of my whole water total within a couple of hours of being awake. Going on a bike ride during a warm summer day will certainly help with that!  I still have a serving of veggies to get in before bed though.  I guess my bedtime snack might be some peas.  Yum.  (I guess it could be worse.)  Tomorrow I'm going to try and throw in a salad and some jicama.  I do love jicama!

Official Weigh-In #4 (Heidi)

A much more reassuring number this week!

148.6 pounds.

So I'm down 2.4 lbs. from last week.  I'm quite pleased with that!  Now if I can just keep it up.

I've done pretty good with my eating this week, though I've struggled with my water intake.  I struggle the most on Sunday, with water as much as eating, so I'm determined to do better today.

Yesterday I still managed my last 11 mile run, even though I'm so congested from some stupid cold that it was hard to breathe.  My husband wanted me to take it easy; he didn't understand that I HAVE to run.  There is no way on earth I will be ready for a marathon if I take breaks, since I only have one long training run a week.  But anyway, I managed the run, even if by evening I was one miserably sick lady.

(I hope being sick isn't the reason for my 2 lb drop!  I've been eating normally so I don't think it is.)

Next week I'm on to my first 12 mile run (I've never run so long before ever), and I'm going to try to make sure I get at least 3 servings of veggies a day.  I can do this!

Back from Vacation

Well, I have been back a week now but I am finally starting to get back into the regular routine of life. I did not stick to any sort of diet while on vacation and therefore even being back a week I am still up 1 lb (it was pretty bad weighing myself the day after I got home, I will probably avoid that in the future). I am struggling with the "slow and steady" approach I am taking to losing weight this time. A part of me looks back to when I lost weight in 2010 and constantly compares my progress to then, which is not smart since I was way more strict with my diet and overall I have more enthusiasm for the whole thing. Oh well, time to stop living in the past and be present as my mom would say :)


So its time to start taking this blog seriously and begin holding myself more accountable. Below is an update/list of my current goals. I am giving my self a lot of time to reach them to try and avoid stress and/or feeling like a failure if my body doesn't cooperate.


Weight: 199.8
Weight Goal: 175 by 2015
Ultimate weight Goal: 145 by 2016

Fitness level: 5k running distance
Goal Fitness level: 13.1 by 2015
Ultimate Goal Fitness level: 26.2 by 2016



And finally, a before picture (not the best because it was taken by my five year old, but I seriously have no pictures of myself)

 

 Before as in what I look like now :)

Sucking It Up (Or Not)

Well, this week has been interesting.  I came down with some ferocious cold that has left me without energy.  I've still managed to exercise-- though not as much-- and I've still managed to keep my calories within the food diary limits.  But my biggest challenge has been getting enough water.

Seriously, with a throat that feels like I've tried to swallow sandpaper, you'd think I'd want to drink more water.  Not too mention that in my neck of the week our highs have been over 100 degrees.

What is my problem??  Drinking a lot of water really makes me feel better.  It helps with my appetite a ton.  But I just have trouble chugging it all down, I guess.  Clearly I'm not a camel!

There's got to be a way to make drinking my water more appealing...though come to think of it, I often put it off because I'm going to be getting in the car again (my life is lived in a car, it feels like) and after five kids, "holding it" ranges from very uncomfortable to downright impossible.  Do camels have trouble with that?  Probably not.

I need to channel my inner camel.

Official Weigh-In #3 (Heidi)

Sometimes the scale is so frustrating!!

OK, I shouldn't complain.  My scale read 151.0 pounds today, which is down from my last official weigh-in.  But it's a higher number than the last couple of days, so a bit of a let down.  Really, I know better.  The number is just a number, and it will fluctuate depending on my monthly cycle and other situations (like whether I get sick) no matter how perfectly  I keep to my food diary.  It's all about the general trend instead of the results of a specific day.  That's why I weigh myself daily, instead of only once a week.  So I can see that fluctuation and not get discouraged when my official number is not what I hoped.

The emotional side of weight loss is hard.  I don't mean the part where we eat for emotional reasons (like when we get stressed or sad)-- though that certainly is a major hurdle, possibly even a more difficult one.  Rather, I mean our reactions to the whole process.  When I want to throw in the towel completely because I have one bad day, when I tell myself that I'm a horrible person for giving in to my munchies, when I think that I must have no self-control at all, when the number on the scale doesn't match my expectations . . . all of these are emotional sand traps that tend to keep me from progressing.  I get down on myself and I want to quit.

There's a quote that helped me last time; I memorized it and told it to myself over and over.  I need to get back to that because it really makes a difference.

"You only fail when you give up."

As long as I keep trying, I will succeed eventually.  Even if it takes me longer than I wanted to reach my goals.  If it is going to take me a year (or longer) to reach my goal weight that time is going to pass anyway.  2015 will be here sooner than I think.  But if I don't give up and I try again, I will be in a much better position next year than I will be if I give up now because the scale doesn't drop fast enough!

Thirsty

What is up with my inability to drink enough water??  Where I live it's already in the high 90's and I feel parched often enough.  But Sunday and Monday I did not meet my water goal, and I'm really behind already for Tuesday.

Today I'm going to do it.

(It just may be tricky with all the running around and double-booked activities I have going on.  Bathroom breaks might be a tad hard to fit in.)

At least I've kept my eating on track!

Yay for Gelato!

Another day of success!

Yesterday I survived my 11 mile run and then also avoided the trap of eating too much to "celebrate."  I will admit I had some gelato (Italian ice cream) when I went out for a date with my hubby, but when I splurge I do like it to be worth it.  (Plus, I was pleasantly surprised when I looked up the nutrition info and found that it only had 180 calories in a 3.5 oz serving.)

I'm now halfway through my Sunday, which is going more or less OK so far.  Still have to make it through dinner at my mom's house without overeating.  So tough, but I can do this!

Official Weigh-In #2 (Heidi)

Well, I weighed in at 151.6 this morning.  That's a whopping 0.2 pounds of weight loss.  But still, it's a loss!  Especially considering there was a road trip & a funeral mixed in this week, I'm quite happy that I didn't gain anything.

Now, if I really wanted to cheat, I could go in and weigh myself right now.  I'm sure it would be even lower because I just finished an 11 mile run and sweated buckets while I was doing it.  But I'm trying to track my fat loss, not my water loss.  The way I try to control for that it is to always weigh myself in the morning before I get dressed for the day or eat breakfast.  That makes it about as consistent as it can be.

This week I am challenging myself to keep my food diary every single day (including Sunday) and also to make sure I get in at least 64 ounces of water every day.  It's getting hot around here and I especially don't want to get dehydrated. Plus it will help me snack less, I think.  I'll report on how it goes.  Here's to another week of positive changes!

Why I Run

I've had a couple of days keeping right to my food diary, so I think I'm getting back in the groove after the trip disruption.  Now it's Amy's turn!  I'm curious about what her game plan is for her vacation (maybe she'll post about it when she gets back).

I thought today I'd post a little more about exercise.  I've been exercising at least a little (even if not always consistently) pretty much since after I had my first baby.  But I really ramped up the exercise last time I lost all my baby weight.  The biggest change was that I took up running.

I hated running.  I swore I would never do it, unless to save my life.  I mocked people who went out for jogs. I was sure that only skinny, anorexic, crazy people went running.  But when I was challenged to compete in a sprint triathlon and took on a couch to 5k program, I learned something that made all the difference.

Running burns more calories than just about anything else I could do.

Well, I can burn an equal amount of calories doing something else, but it takes longer.  So I get the most weight loss bang for my buck out of running.  It might work differently for someone else (all our bodies are different), but for me, running was the perfect exercise for weight loss.

I still hate it.

To motivate myself to keep going, I usually try to find one or two events to train for.  They have to be a challenge, something that I will have to work for so that I actually drag myself out of bed at the crack of dawn to get the training in.  This year I've set my sights on two, though the actual events won't be until early 2015.  One is a 26k trail run (that's about 17 miles up and down hills on rocky trails).  The other is my first marathon.

I have a countdown to remind myself to keep working.  I can do this!

Post Trip Recap

Well.

I'm back from my trip out of state, and I guess it could be worse.  There is nothing harder (in my humble opinion) for dieting than traveling.  In my case it involved a long drive (where I did a lot of snacking to stay awake) and tricky situations like a catered luncheon.  I fully intended to keep my food diary throughout the trip but it didn't happen.  Thumbs down.  On the other hand, I still managed to get exercise in half the days of my trip.  Thumbs up!  (Not an easy feat, that.)  Still, I don't feel terribly satisfied with myself.

No matter.  Today I've kept my food diary accurate and stayed within my calorie limit, plus getting my regular time on the bike in.  I only fail if I give up!

Weigh In #1

Official weigh-in morning:

151.8

Well, I've seen lower numbers on the scale this week, but I did say I was going to count Saturday as my official number for the week.  Anyway, at least it's lower than my "starting over" weight.  I can do this!

Inspiration

I spent the morning reading my weight loss blog I kept 4 years ago when I first discovered weight loss blogs and decided to keep one myself. I had this vague idea that when I first started running and losing weight that it was easy and I have been a little depressed that this time is not as shinny and new. Well, reading my blog was an eye opener. I struggled ALL THE TIME. I struggled with running, with little cheats here and there, doubts that it was worth it, and in the end I managed to lose weight and feel better overall. I needed this inspiration from myself. To read this basically gave me the kick in the pants I have been needed lately to not feel so down on myself for not being as awesome as I used to be (memories are faulty).

This week has been pretty good as far as exercise and counting calories. I ran 3 miles without walking for the first time since I had my baby last year and (surprise) it wasn't as hard as I kept telling myself it would be. Next week will be a challenge, we leave for vacation for 6 days and I am already worried about how much weight I will gain and need to come up with some sort of realistic guideline for myself on how to not go crazy eating but also relax and not spend the whole time obsessing about every bite. Totally doable!

What Next?

Another day of meeting my target eating goal!  That goal is strictly calorie related.  Next week, when I get back into town, I think it's time to add another goal.  I just can't decide between making sure I drink enough water every day or adding more veggie servings in.  Hmmm.  I think I'll go with the water first.  Summer is coming up and dehydration is a very real concern where I live.  Plus, extra water will help me stay fuller longer, I know from experience.  Anyway, there's no point in tackling a brand new habit right before traveling though.  Best if I start when I get back.  Probably next Wednesday.

Quick Check In

Yikes!  So much for my daily check-in!

This week has been crazy, and it's not over yet so this will be just a short blurb today.  I had my mother-in-law in town and then my grandfather passed away, on top of the normal end of the school year craziness going on.  The good news is that even with all this I've managed to keep my food diary updated, and I've stayed within my target for each day.

The real trick will be when I travel out of state this weekend for the funeral.  There will be a couple of long days in the car and not much chance to exercise (if any).  Travel is tricky for me too because I usually end up eating way more than I ever intend.  The good thing is that this is the first trip where I'll have a smartphone so I can keep my food diary up to date even through the trip.  Hopefully it makes a difference!

Frowny Faces Are Not Always Bad

Amy and I are both counting calories, which I know in some people's book is a curse, rather than helpful.  But for me it's been absolutely necessary to really know what's going into my mouth.  That way I make better decisions about whether a treat is really worth the calories it costs, I guess.  This is vital for someone like me who has found that making any kind of food off-limits (particularly if it's one of my favorites) backfires because I just can't stick with it very long.

For my calorie counting I use myfooddiary.com.  It's a subscription food diary (so you have to pay a monthly fee to use it) but I've decided the $9/month is worth it.  I like the format, I like how I can enter my own recipes, and the number of foods that are already in the database is quite large.  One of the little features that myfooddiary uses to motivate is when you finish your diary for the day it gives you a bunch of green smiley faces for meeting certain positive dieting goals or red frowny faces for less than stellar choices.  Only once in the several years I've been keeping a food diary have I ever managed to get all smiley faces at the end of a day.  Usually I get a frowny for my sodium intake and my saturated fats being too high.  (Can't be perfect, I guess.)

Yesterday was a new record for me.  Not a good one though.  I had only one smiley face and SIX frownies.  At least I didn't drink any alcohol and got one positive!  Really, though, I'm quite proud of myself.  I usually don't track my eating on Sunday at all (it's my "free" day, if you will) because I know it's going to be my worst day of the week.  But yesterday, despite the fact that I knew we would be celebrating my sister's birthday and there would be no exercise and a host of other negative things, I still kept my food diary.  I even entered every little thing I ate, down to the snitch of chocolate chips I grabbed at bedtime (I need to get rid of that habit!).  The best part was that even though my eating wasn't spectacularly good yesterday, keeping the food diary accurately kept me within the calorie limit for me to at least maintain my weight.  Absolutely necessary if I'm going to have a weekly cheat day!

Amy's Intro

Hi, I'm Amy. Not all a new to this weight loss thing. Second time slim might be more accurate at 8th or 9th time slim. I have been dieting in some form off and on for the past 10 years (I should have started way before that but never really took it seriously after a failed attempt at Jenny Craig when I was 13). Ten years ago I was first really successful with a modified fast diet that was monitored by a doctor and lost 70 lbs. The problem with "modified fasts" is you can't eat that way forever, so once I tried to eat normal that was that and I gained the weight back. So I went on like this for 5 years....a few months on the modified fast, a few months off, losing weight and gaining weight constantly. Then I had my first daughter and realized that I don't want her to constantly struggle with weight and the best way to try and accomplish that was to be a better example for her. So I cut out dairy, started counting calories, running and lost 95lbs. I did pretty OK and staying in a good-ish healthy range for myself for three years. Then I got pregnant with number 2 baby and couldn't keep up the exercise while pregnant. My baby is now 6 months old and I still need to lose 60 lbs. I am doing it a little different this time around. I am still counting calories but I do allow myself a cheat day once a week, which is a slower weight loss process but something I think I am keep up for a very long time.

So here's where I am at:

Starting Weight: 200.2
Goal Weight: 140.


Non weight loss goals are to get back to running. I have worked my way up to a 5k after having baby #2 and would like to be able to run the Half Marathon of the Phoenix Marathon in March of 2015.

Lets do this!

Ooops

I ended up eating WAY more than I intended to yesterday.  Oops. I made the classic mistake of assuming that I had more calories available from exercise than I really did.  1,300 calories extra is a ton, you know?  Oh dear.  But today is a new day and I only fail when I give up.  This was a learning experience.

Today is going be a challenge though.  Sundays are always my personal Waterloo.  The goal is to absolutely enter everything I eat, even when I go to dinner at my parents' house (a weekly tradition around here).  Hopefully that will help me stay on track and not overeat.  I can do this!!

Courage Needed

Maybe it's stubbornness I need, rather than courage.  Or maybe both would do it.

Anyway, this morning was official weigh in day for the week, and wouldn't you know it?  My weight is up 0.6 pounds.  That's not a lot.  It's not even a pound.  But when your goal is to lose 1/2 pound a week, and you've worked hard all week and kept all your goals, it's frustrating to see the number go up!

Now I've been doing this long enough to know that this is normal.  The number may fluctuate but over time, as long as I'm consistent, the trend will be downward.  However, handling a weight increase emotionally, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is a whole different matter.  I get so frustrated and depressed and I just want to throw in the towel.  Or resign myself to just maintaining this weight, rather than trying to lose.

No.  I'm not giving in to negative thoughts.  This temporary.  I just need to keep working and be patient.  My changes will be slow, and that's by design, since I'm making permanent changes, not yo-yo ones.

On a more positive note, I ran 11 miles today (burning more than 1300 calories per my food diary).  Afterward, I treated myself to a McDonald's sundae.  Yes, all the experts say it's counter-productive to reward yourself with dessert when you finish a workout.  But I think 1300 calories more than covered my little hot fudge sundae with nuts.  That's part of what makes these changes livable.

Now back to my healthy eating!

Lament of the Lettuce

My diet has two really big weak areas-- my love affair with sugar and my lack of vegetables.  The sugar affair, well, I'm not going to give it up cold turkey forever and ever.  I've tried it and it didn't work.  I didn't feel the cravings go away (like so many of my no-sugar, no-processed, no-anything-that-tastes-good friends promised).  So I've made a truce with it.  I'll try to minimize the sugar I eat, and savor it it smaller doses, with the goal of those savoring moments getting smaller and fewer.

Vegetables are trickier.  I have nothing personal against them.  I even like some of them.  But somehow, I never seem to manage to eat them much.  Back when I was a much more dedicated to healthy eating mom, I made a huge effort to serve lots of vegetables all the time, so my kids would grow up liking them.  It kind of worked (with some veggies, anyway-- like broccoli & peas).  But as my life has gotten more frantic and I've added more kids to the mix, my effort at preparing and serving veggies had decreased exponentially.  In my defense, cooking for a family of seven while handling all the schedule craziness that comes as the kids get older is much more challenging than cooking for a family of four.  (And expensive.  But that's a topic for another time.)

Anyway, I have such grand intentions every week when I go grocery shopping.  I always intend to add more veggies to the cart.  Snap peas, sweet potatoes, cucumbers, zucchini, tomatoes, carrots, green leaf & romaine lettuces.  I actually like to eat these things.  But almost every week I get them, I never cook them or eat them, and then they go bad (with the exception of the carrots, which I regularly snack on).  Then the next week at the grocery store I stand around in the produce aisle debating whether or not I should spend the money on food that is probably just going to be wasted.  Did I mention how expensive it is to feed a family of seven?

What to do?  In my fridge I had a head of green leaf lettuce.  I haven't even unwrapped yet though I bought it more than a week ago.  In fact, it's probably wilted and nasty by now.  But every day the week I had plans to break it out and make myself a yummy tossed salad with sauteed chicken and garlic.  Never happened.

Bother.

I've got to get better about eating my veggies!!

"Extra" Calories

Well, yesterday I did better about tracking exactly what I ate, and I made it under my calorie goal for the day.  Woohoo!  One day down.  It helps that I get a good number of extra calories allotted for the day through my exercise.

What about exercise?  Is it helpful for weight loss or not?  I know the experts say emphatically "YES!"  And clearly I am on the exercise boat or I wouldn't be doing it.  But I have my doubts as to whether or not exercise is a must.  The first 20 pounds of my previous successful weight loss happened while I was not exercising at all.  Literally.  I was restricted to bed rest during my pregnancy and started losing weight like mad (even though normally you gain during pregnancy).  It was 100% due to the diabetes diet I was on.  This is important for me to keep in mind because sometimes exercise just isn't possible.  Injuries and illness happen.  (Boy, do they ever!)  But lack of exercise won't derail me if I really make sure what I eat lines up with my non-activity status.

However, for the most part I am now a compulsive exerciser.  On the whole it's a good thing.  I average about 700 extra calories a day added to my food diary tracker because of my workouts.  The tricky part is that exercise really increases my appetite.  I don't know for whom it is an appetite suppressant but I am clearly not that lucky.  When I finish a workout I am starving . . . and it is so tempting to feel like I get to "treat" myself for working so hard.

Those extra calories are my lifesaver though.  They allow me to eat enough to feel full and still eat mostly the same stuff as the rest of my family.  (I don't have the energy to cook myself something separate from everyone else, and my kids would howl at having to live off "rabbit food" all the time.)

More changes to come soon, but for right now I'm still going to keep working on making sure my food diary is super accurate!

Exactness in Tracking

Being perfectly exact on a food diary is harder than I remembered!  I've done it before-- back when I first started the diabetes plan and the nurses were picky about wanting to know every single bite I put into my mouth and when, but over the last five years I've gotten sloppy.  Yesterday I really tried to pay attention so I could enter everything, but who wants to note down the 2 goldfish you popped in your mouth while getting a snack for your toddler?  Or the single chocolate chocolate chip you snitched?

I wonder how much that all adds up to in a day?  Is it significant or not?

I guess it depends on how often I'm doing it and how big my "snitches" are.  Today I'm going to try again to be as exact as I can.  Might help if I can keep from popping random things in my mouth.

Now, as far as weighing in . . . I've been weighing myself once a day for years now, so I think I'm going to continue to do that.  It seems to be the most effective tool for keeping tabs on where I stand.  But as far as my "official" number that I'm going to use here to track my progress, I think I'll use whatever number on the scale that comes up Saturday morning.  Perhaps I'm cheating a bit, because Saturday morning tends to be my lowest number of the week (maybe because of my long runs), but I feel that as long as I'm consistent it will still be an accurate picture of my loss.  (LOSS!  NOT GAIN!)

On to another day of accountable eating!

Taking Stock

I've been on my weight loss journey for awhile, and over my life I've tried a lot of things.  I'm long past fad diets but finding the right combination of rules and tips and tricks that work can be tricky.  I'm a firm believer that there is no one perfect weight loss solution that works for everyone.  In my previous 60 pounds of success, I found that three things worked really well for me: first, the diet that they put you on for gestational diabetes; second, keeping a food diary; and third, really ramping up the exercise.  I mean really upping the exercise ante (in my case, by taking up running).  But I gave up the diabetes diet plan as soon as I wasn't pregnant any more (I'm kind of a sugar fanatic), and though the food diary and exercise plans have served me well, it's obviously not quite enough right now.

Part of my problem is that I'm not sticking to my food diary consistently enough.  So what are my biggest problems areas, places where I need to do some tweaking or come up with a plan of attack?

Problems:

• Keeping my food diary every single day (even Sunday)
• Reading while I eat (distraction never helps)
• Making sure I am drinking enough water
• Making sure I am getting enough sleep
• The stupid chocolate chips sitting in my fridge!  I snitch all the time.
• Grazing throughout the day

The trouble is that I want my weight loss to be permanent, not a crash loss that only lasts for a short while.  So I need to make these changes permanent too . . . and that's the rub.  Hmm.  I think I'm going to focus first on making sure that I absolutely keep my food diary accurate and up to date.  I'll try to check in either every night or every morning about how I am doing.

Heidi's Intro

A fresh new blog and a fresh new start!

All of us deserve a fresh start, right?  Myself included.  Especially when it comes to weight loss.  I got the idea for this blog while searching for something new to motivate myself to make the changes I need to get back down to my pre-baby weight.  Or at least to my pre-fifth baby weight (which was slightly lower than my pre-first baby weight).  See, this is my second time going on a successful weight loss journey.  (Look how positive I am!  Hoo-RAH!)  By the time I got pregnant with my fourth baby, my weight had climbed up to about 190 lbs.  (I'm going to be straightforward about numbers here.)  I felt sluggish, I had no energy to keep up with my kids, and my depression had been debilitating at times.  During the pregnancy I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and it was kind of a slap-in-the-face wake up call.  All my gradual weight creep was affecting my health.  I started seriously considering what kind of future I wanted to have.  Diabetes?  (My doc told me I'll be at higher risk for that the rest of my life.)  Heart disease?  (Our father had to have quintuple bypass surgery in his early 50's, and Amy and I are both considered high risk just because of our family history.)  What about just being embarrassingly out of breath every time I tried to walk to the park with the kids?

All of that had an effect on me.  And let's be brutally honest here, I wasn't happy with how I looked.  A mom with young kids often looks frazzled and frumpy and I was tired of feeling frazzled, frumpy and fat, on top of it all.

So finally I had the right motivation, and I managed to lose a whopping 55 pounds and keep it off.  (Though my numbers pale in comparison to Amy's!)  But life doesn't always go like we plan and I got thrown a curveball.

That curveball for me was my surprise baby #5.  I put 60 pounds right back on during that pregnancy.  Yep.  Well, my sweet baby #5 is now a toddler and I am still struggling to get back down to my "success" weight.  I've been stuck where I am for about a year.  I don't know it's if my age (I'm nearing 40 now, yikes!) or just my love of food holding me back-- or both.

No longer!

I am taking my health by the reins, and I am going to succeed!  17 pounds to go!